Apparently you make a good broom.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
