It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Holy shit dude........stairs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
