I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
