I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
