I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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