Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
