She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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