you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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