I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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