this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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