I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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