I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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