What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
