Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
