and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
