I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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