I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
