so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I need moral support for this bender
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
