i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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