I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
