I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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