I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
