It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
