do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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