I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
