theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think your dad took our porno
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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