It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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