Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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