I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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