I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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