I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We need to get me chipped asap
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize