i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
