Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
