I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
