i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
