is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
