Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
