your room smells of hookers.
And success
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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