you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
