Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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