i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
