About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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