careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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