he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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