i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
