Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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