Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
someone owes me an orgasm
time to smoke my breakfast
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
