no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
