Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
people are starting to question the shark bite story
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
