my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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