Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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