I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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