I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
