I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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