Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
actually, I'm a sock model
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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