I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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