No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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