is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
