Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
